What have I done?

Sigh.....

When will i learn how not to get my heart broken? I mean.... can you completely learn how to prevent such disasters?

ok i tend to be a bit dramatic so let me explain the issue.

I just had to end yet another relationship with someone that said they love me so much that they felt they were losing themselves in the process.

Sounds like game doesn't it? I think it does just a tad!!!!
The real issue we departed was due to the fact that he isn't where he wants to be in his life.... so being with a woman like me makes him feel less than.

It has to be difficult to feel less than when you are in love with someone. Thinking that what they say or do doesn't impact your life at all... i don't know that feeling to be honest with you... i'm too busy doing my own thing.

Oh i forgot to mention that he was also dating some simple chick from a one traffic light dirt road town that made him feel like " home". His traditional ways were reminded in her.... she is deep into church.... simple... they never argued... simple... all this he and i spoke about.
At the time I really didn't pay it any mind due to the fact that when it came time to real life issues i FELT he only confided in me....

sigh

at 35 i should really know all of these tricks shouldn't i?
i think i should...i REALLY REALLY SHOULD.
I am just not in the mood to play any games anymore with ANYONE..... PERIOD

Do i think my ex was a trifling idiot? Nah, i think he took on something he couldn't handle and tried to rock with it for as long as he could. I think that he honestly loves me unconditionally and incredibly but is scared to apply any of that to a future... and for that i thank him.
I thank his punk ass for being so weak that he cried his way out of being a man and learning how to handle real love and responsibility for the possibility of US. He helped me out tremendously because i wasn't paying attention to his flaws.... just his energy... which was pure for me...

oh well... another one bites the dust eh?

This event lead me to reach out to my ex boyfriends and really search and figure out why they loved me and what went wrong according to them. Ya know... therapy!

I will say this.... i wont... i cant... will not... be involved in another romance for a very long time.

I must learn to correct what is subliminally hurting inside so that i don't give off that energy and keep gravitating towards the weak and emotionally unstable.

Let see how this goes....