"Who is this? I don't have any of the contacts in my new phone"
"This is your baby ( lets call him dude1...lol)
"Sigh.... didn't i tell you not to call me anymore dude? how many times must we have this conversation... oh and by the way how is your wife?"
" She's well...look... i might go away but i always will come back cause i love you and you know that.... i wanted to know if i can see you tomorrow so i can talk to you in person about something... do you have time?"
" Sure i will call you when i get into Manhattan"
i know what you are thinking... why would i agree to see someone that i told time and time again not to call me? Well i really don't know the honest answer to that... but i knew if i didn't give him sometime he will never go away.
Fast forward next day.... driving through Harlem i give "dude 1" a call and ask where he was located.
"i am in Harlem and will be here for only another 20 mins so if you can make it here then i can talk to you" I said
he arrived in 10 lol.
"Dude 1" proceeded to tell me how he cant live without my friendship and how he thinks about me all the time and wants me to be a part of his life.
"Let me ask you a question" i said " how is your relationship with your wife... i mean... do you find her attractive? are you in love with her... what's going on?"
"My wife is like you... i find her so amazing... so sexy.. she is thick and i have been with her for 12 years... but marriage is hard work and i work hard everyday at it"
" this is working hard?" i asked " Are you seriously looking at me in my face while i sit in your car and you talk about how sexy i am and you are really going to say that this is hard work? Let me ask you a question... we are friends first so i have to ask you this and i want you to be honest.... DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BEING SELFISH BY WANTING ME IN SUCH A STRONG CAPACITY.... IN A CAPACITY OF LOVE& LUST WHILE YOU ARE MARRIED? don't you think that if your wife was sitting in a car while some dude was talking about how much he loved her would make you want to kill them both?"
silence... dead silence.... we sat in that truck for about a good 5 mins before he gave me this answer
" i mean... i guess i am being selfish... but what do i do with how i feel about you Nef?"
" You give all of those emotions to your wife... all of it... please for me... if you say you love her and you want to be my friend then understand that i cant be apart of your life at all cause i'm not good for you and your growth. I don't want to be with you... you hinder my growth and you wouldn't want to do that as my friend would you?"
" Never... i never want to be an obstacle "
" Then you have to let me go... you have to let the thoughts of me go and you have to stop being selfish... you have to grow up and i mean that with all due respect. I love you forever but i cant be apart of your desires... i don't want to .... it is all bad karma... even my being in this car"
" i understand" he said very sad.... " can i call you?"
"No.. i would rather you not"
"Nef, you do love me... only someone who loves me will let me go with such grace... i will do as you wish... just know that you are always apart of me... always"
I gave him a hug.... smiled and grabbed his hand " Proud of you... see you around"
Was that hard for me to do? Nope... through this journey i will practice what i preach to everyone
- only keep those around you that will be loyal to you-
one down... many more to go
Lets see who is next :)
You ended it a very classy and respectful way.. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteThis note couldn't have come at a better time for me...I have recently broken up with 3 of my...friends for growth reasons...With them in my life, it made it hard for me to grow and I'm sure it did the same to them. You are always classy so I wouldn't expect anything less...hope that your process is a smooth one...I think i'm headed in the right direction. See you at the finish line.
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